


I don't want to play anymore

by Anonymous



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Childhood Trauma, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Past Rape/Non-con, kaede kaito and maki are mentioned so im not putting them in the tags, nothing graphic but better safe than sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:15:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27340330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Shuichi isn't one to have nightmares.
Relationships: Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi
Comments: 1
Kudos: 123
Collections: Anonymous





	I don't want to play anymore

**Author's Note:**

> this originally started out as a vent but i kinda liked it enough to publish it here, also saiou makes my heart go brrrr  
> again, nothing is graphic but if you do find yourself uncomfortable with these topics its better to not read it

_'Let's play a bit, Shuichi-kun.'_

_He's so close. Why is he here? I'm supposed to be safe. Why is he here? Why why why why why-_

_‘Quit shaking so much. You’re gonna make me think you actually hate this.’ He laughed. But he knew that no matter how much he begged and cried, he wouldn’t give up._

_‘I missed this, y’know? I missed our games.’ He said as he gently traced his fingers across his forearm._

_“Please...I don’t want to play anymore…”_

= 

Shuichi shot up from the bed, without a second thought he threw the blankets off of himself and rushed to the bathroom.  
Normally, Shuichi would be worried about waking up his boyfriend but remembering _him_ made him focus on throwing up.

Shaking while gripping the edge of the toilet, Shuichi was still somewhat disoriented. He felt so heavy yet so light. It was so loud yet so quiet. He felt everything yet nothing at all. He just wanted to be safe, to be okay. He wasn’t even sure if he was real at that moment, as if everything was fake and would crumble at any second.

"Am I that bad to sleep with that I make you sick?"

= 

It wasn't often that Kokichi was woken up by his boyfriend because he had a nightmare. In fact it was usually the other way around. So to say he was a bit confused and concerned to be woken up by Shuichi shooting out of bed and into the bathroom was an understatement.  
He even tried calling out to him but the detective seemed to not notice the leader at all. It was common for Shuichi to have breakdowns and panic attacks but Kokichi has never seen him be so shaken up from a nightmare.

Getting up and walking towards the bathroom, Kokichi noticed that Shuichi was shaking, very violently. Comforting others wasn’t really Kokichi’s forte, he would usually use humor to try and lighten things up, even if the timing was poor. This wasn’t any different.

"Am I that bad to sleep with that I make you sick?"

The way the blue haired boy reacted made Kokichi’s heart stop and break.

Shuichi gasped before launching back towards the bathtub, hitting his back against it in a poor attempt to get away. He closed his eyes and whimpered, Kokichi could see tears threatening to spill out.

The purple haired boy rushed over to Shuichi, crouching in front of him, slightly freaking out himself. “Shuichi, beloved, it’s okay it’s just me.” He wanted to avoid touching the taller boy in fear he might scare him more.

The detective continued to breathe rapidly and shake, trying to focus on the person in front of him. The tears in his eyes made his vision blurry but he could vaguely make out the outline of wild, octopus like hair.

“Ko-kokichi…?”

Hearing Shuichi say his name in a weak and broken voice made Kokichi want to hold him and protect him from anything dangerous. The former was taller than him, but right now he just seemed so small and vulnerable.

“The one and only, Shumai.”

Shuichi’s golden eyes were dull and glossy as they tried to focus on Kokichi. He could see his boyfriend’s bedhead, his round baby-like face, and his gorgeous violet colored eyes. He could also see an incredibly soft expression on Kokichi’s face. A soft, genuine, worried expression.

Once the detective was able to finally focus on Kokichi, he leaned over and buried his face into the crook of the shorter man’s neck, clutching the back of his boyfriend’s shirt.

He wasn’t really expecting Shuichi to bury his face into his neck but he didn’t protest. The smaller boy ran his fingers through his boyfriend’s hair and kissed the top of his head. He felt Shuichi clutch his shirt, as if he was scared that Kokichi would disappear the second he’d let go.

They stayed in silence for a few moments as Kokichi continued to run his fingers through Shuichi’s hair, waiting for him to stop shaking and to regulate his breathing.

“I’ve never seen you react like that before. What happened, Shu?” Kokichi said, breaking the silence. He wasn’t expecting an immediate response, he’d wait til the end of time if he had to.

Shuichi closed his eyes and hummed softly. He wanted to talk to someone, anyone. He wanted to get rid of the disgusting feeling that’s been tormenting him for years. The feeling of someone putting their hands around his neck to quiet his cries. The whispers of praise for behaving. The punishments he’d receive if he ever tried to escape or mention it to anyone. He wanted it all to go away, to stop plaguing his thoughts, to stop making him think that it was all his fault, to stop making him think that he would be hurt like that again.

“You don’t have to tell me now or tomorrow or even in a year. But you can’t be selfless and listen to other people’s problems without telling someone your own, Shumai.” Kokichi whispered. “You always listen to Hippiematsu-chan, Momoron-chan, and even killer girl. You even listen to me when something plagues my incredible supreme leader mind.” Shuichi snorted at his boyfriend’s nicknames about his friends and his gloating.

“So there’s no excuse to not confide in any of us. Hell, with the idiot astronaut and the assassin, you basically have two bodyguards! And I’m pretty sure Akamatsu-chan could kill someone if she wanted to. Maybe with a shot put ball.” He snickered and Shuichi couldn’t help but roll his eyes.

“What would you do?” Shuichi played along in asking questions.

“Well of course I would send my 10,000 subordinates to hunt down the person that has wronged you! And grace you with my presence as I’m doing right now.” The smaller boy huffed in pride has he dramatically put his hand on his puffed out chest. Shuichi really did love him.

“Thank you, Kichi.” Shuichi breathed out. He untangled one of his hands from Kokichi’s shirt and held the leader’s hand. “Thank you so much.”

Kokichi brought up Shuichi’s hand and kissed the back of it.

“Anything for you, my beloved.”

**Author's Note:**

> can you tell i dont know how to end fics or even write? yeah im sorry  
> anyway, anyone experiencing stuff like this i just wanna say that youre a lot stronger than you might give yourself credit for and everything is gonna be alright i believe in you!


End file.
